2009年2月26日 星期四

總是和雞蛋站在同一邊。

朱恐龍引介了村上春樹的獲獎消息,他於今年二月獲得耶路撒冷文學獎。這是什麼獎呢?根據東方日報的報導,「耶路撒冷文學獎創辦於1963年,每兩年頒發一次,意在表彰其作品涉及人類自由、人與社會和政治間關係的作家。往屆得主包括亞瑟‧米勒、蘇珊‧桑塔格、伯特蘭‧羅素、VS.奈波爾、J.M.柯慈、博爾赫斯、米蘭‧昆德拉、西蒙‧波娃、奧克塔維奧‧帕斯(Octavio Paz, 1914-1998,墨西哥詩人、散文家)和巴爾加斯‧略薩等人,皆為大名流。」

作家,得了獎,好像不是什麼了不得的事情。了不得的,是村上發表的得獎演說。

總是和雞蛋站在同一邊

村上春樹於耶路撒冷文學獎
翻譯:Lucifer

我是以小說家的身份來到耶路撒冷,也就是說,我的身份是一個專業的謊言編織者。

當然,說謊的不只是小說家。我們都知道,政客也會。外交人員和軍人有時也會被迫說謊,二手車業務員,屠夫和工人也不例外。不過,小說家的謊言和其他人不同的地方在於,沒有人會用道德標準去苛責小說家的謊言。事實上,小說家的謊言說的越努力,越大、越好,批評家和大眾越會讚賞他。為什麼呢?

我的答案是這樣的:藉由傳述高超的謊言;也就是創造出看來彷彿真實的小說情節,小說家可以將真實帶到新的疆域,將新的光明照耀其上。在大多數的案例中,我們幾乎不可能捕捉真理,並且精準的描繪它。因此,我們才必須要將真理從它的藏匿處誘出,轉化到另一個想像的場景,轉換成另一個想像的形體。不過,為了達成這個目的,我們必須先弄清楚真理到底在自己體內的何處。要編出好的謊言,這是必要的。

不過,今天,我不準備說謊。我會盡可能的誠實。一年之中只有幾天我不會撒謊,今天剛好是其中一天。

讓我老實說吧。許多人建議我今天不應該來此接受耶路撒冷文學獎。有些人甚至警告我,如果我敢來,他們就會杯葛我的作品。

會這樣的原因,當然是因為加薩走廊正發生的這場激烈的戰鬥。根據聯合國的調查,在被封鎖的加薩城中超過一千人喪生,許多人是手無寸鐵的平民,包括了兒童和老人。

在收到獲獎通知之後,我自問:在此時前往以色列接受這文學獎是否是一個正確的行為。這會不會讓人以為我支持衝突中的某一方,或者認為我支持一個選擇發動壓倒性武力的國家政策。當然,我不希望讓人有這樣的印象。我不贊同任何戰爭,我也不支持任何國家。同樣的,我也不希望看到自己的書被杯葛。

最後,在經過審慎的考量之後,我終於決定來此。其中一個原因是因為有太多人反對我前來參與了。或許,我就像許多其他的小說家一樣,天生有著反骨。如果人們告訴我,特別是警告我:「千萬別去那邊,」「千萬別這麼做,」我通常會想要「去那邊」和「這麼做」。你可以說這就是我身為小說家的天性。小說家是種很特別的人。他們一定要親眼所見、親手所觸才願意相信。

所以我來到此地。我選擇親身參與,而不是退縮逃避。我選擇親眼目睹,而不是蒙蔽雙眼。我選擇開口說話,而不是沈默不語。

這並不代表我要發表任何政治信息。判斷對錯當然是小說家最重要的責任。

不過,要如何將這樣的判斷傳遞給他人,則是每個作家的選擇。我自己喜歡利用故事,傾向超現實的故事。因此,我今日才不會在各位面前發表任何直接的政治訊息。

不過,請各位容許我發表一個非常個人的訊息。這是我在撰寫小說時總是牢記在心的。我從來沒有真的將其形諸於文字或是貼在牆上。我將它雋刻在我內心的牆上,這句話是這樣說的:

若要在高聳的堅牆與以卵擊石的雞蛋之間作選擇,我永遠會選擇站在雞蛋那一邊。

是的。不管那高牆多麼的正當,那雞蛋多麼的咎由自取,我總是會站在雞蛋那一邊。就讓其他人來決定是非,或許時間或是歷史會下判斷。但若一個小說家選擇寫出站在高牆那一方的作品,不論他有任何理由,這作品的價值何在?

這代表什麼?在大多數的狀況下,這是很顯而易見的。轟炸機、戰車、火箭與白磷彈是那堵高牆。被壓碎、燒焦、射殺的手無寸鐵的平民則是雞蛋。這是這比喻的一個角度。

不過,並不是只有一個角度,還有更深的思考。這樣想吧。我們每個人或多或少都是一顆雞蛋。我們都是獨一無二,裝在脆弱容器理的靈魂。對我來說是如此,對諸位來說也是一樣。我們每個人也或多或少,必須面對一堵高牆。這高牆的名字叫做體制。體制本該保護我們,但有時它卻自作主張,開始殘殺我們,甚至讓我們冷血、有效,系統化的殘殺別人。

我寫小說只有一個理由。那就是將個體的靈魂尊嚴暴露在光明之下。故事的目的是在警醒世人,將一道光束照在體系上,避免它將我們的靈魂吞沒,剝奪靈魂的意義。我深信小說家就該揭露每個靈魂的獨特性,藉由故事來釐清它。用生與死的故事,愛的故事,讓人們落淚的故事,讓人們因恐懼而顫抖的故事,讓人們歡笑顫動的故事。這才是我們日復一日嚴肅編織小說的原因。

先父在九十歲時過世。他是個退休的教師,兼職的佛教法師。當他在研究所就讀時,他被強制徵召去中國參戰。身為一個戰後出身的小孩,我曾經看著他每天晨起在餐前,於我們家的佛壇前深深的向佛祖祈禱。有次我問他為什麼要這樣做,他告訴我他在替那些死於戰爭中的人們祈禱。

他說,他在替所有犧牲的人們祈禱,包括戰友,包括敵人。看著他跪在佛壇前的背影,我似乎可以看見死亡的陰影包圍著他。

我的父親過世時帶走了他的記憶,我永遠沒機會知道一切。但那被死亡包圍的背影留在我的記憶中。這是我從他身上繼承的少數幾件事物,也是最重要的事物。

我今日只想對你傳達一件事。我們都是人類,超越國籍、種族和宗教,都只是一個面對名為體制的堅實高牆的一枚脆弱雞蛋。不論從任何角度來看,我們都毫無勝機。高牆太高、太堅硬,太冰冷。唯一勝過它的可能性只有來自我們將靈魂結為一體,全心相信每個人的獨特和不可取代性所產生的溫暖。

請各位停下來想一想。我們每個人都擁有一個獨特的,活生生的靈魂。體制卻沒有。我們不能容許體制踐踏我們。我們不能容許體制自行其是。體制並沒有創造我們:是我們創造了體制。

這就是我要對各位說的。

我很感謝能夠獲得耶路撒冷文學獎。我很感謝世界各地有那麼多的讀者。我很高興有機會向各位發表演說。


Always on the side of the egg
By Haruki Murakami

I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.

Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?

My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.

Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.

So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.

The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.

Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.

Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that." It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.

And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.

This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course.

It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.

Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:

"Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg."

Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg. Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?

What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.

This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell. This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.

I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it. The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them. I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.

My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house. One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war.

He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike. Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.

My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.

I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System. To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold. If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.

Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing. We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own. The System did not make us: We made The System.

That is all I have to say to you.

I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.



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2009年2月24日 星期二

我右手是龍,左手是玫瑰的力量。

荷馬在《伊里亞德》裡說:「力量從希望與絕望中而來」。


延伸閱讀



風箏飛,葉落下,拳頭的世界如此大。
線纏繞,樹長大,手掌留住了風,握不住一粒沙。
我的左手是貓,右手是撫慰的力量。你讓我輕輕的合掌,喚來舊時光。
閉上眼,就地捲起海浪,奔向紙月亮,追逐一頭大雨中的狼。
蝴蝶飛,浪退潮。手打開,不害怕,匱乏。

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瞬間的凝結與輕盈。

劇場是個做錯無法重來的地方,一切都只有瞬間,台上台下存乎一心的當下,過了就過了。所謂魅力,也許都帶有如此稍縱即逝的味道。但攝影機的天命則是複製時空,讓過了的事情從頭來過,讓人誤以為水可以一再重複流過。

……

站在後台看劇場才知道它的精彩是有開幕與落幕,演出前的緊張凝結換成落幕的輕盈與釋放,那股釋放瀰漫在舞台四處,不屬聲音不屬影像,是攝影機無法複製的質地。

〈落幕〉‧ipa


多懷念哪,那緊張凝結,以及輕盈釋放。

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2009年2月17日 星期二

近親生慢悔。

人和人之間,不能太熟,太熟了就容易起悔慢之心。


親愛的F,那天妳問我,我還沒想清楚,胡亂給了個不痛不癢的答案,「以誠待人不一定有效」。我現在知道了。「近親生慢悔」。

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2009年2月13日 星期五

兩廳院廣場藝術節。



唔,有意思。點圖可看詳情。

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有人會造剛彈。



剛彈,是男子漢的共同夢想。

朱恐龍介紹了一個超強剛彈迷,這人會造剛彈!他造的剛彈不是只會站著而已,還能!(誤)

第一代的黃金百式


第二代的 MS 美少女


第三代




設計圖



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2009年2月11日 星期三

修行的所在。

大部分的人仍不知禪修的本質,他們認為行禪、坐禪與聞法即是修行。那也沒有錯,不過這些都只是修行的外在形式。真正的修行,發生在心遇到感官對象時,感官接觸的地方才是修行的所在。當他人說到我們不喜歡的事時,瞋恨便生起;若說的是喜歡的事,我們便感到快樂。這就是修行的所在,我們應如何利用它們來修行呢?這才是重點。若只是一味地追逐快樂、逃避痛苦,我們可能至死都見不到「法」。當歡樂與痛苦生起時,如何運用佛法而從中解脫呢?這才是修行的要點。

—《阿姜查的禪修世界》(第一部:戒)

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2009年2月10日 星期二

不要和強大的力量爭辯。

曼楨說:「世鈞。」她的聲音也在顫抖,世鈞沒作聲,等著她說下去,自己根本哽住了沒法開口。曼楨半晌方道:「世鈞,我們回不去了。」他知道這是真話,聽見了也還是一樣震動。她的頭已經在他的肩膀上。他抱著她。

—《半生緣》‧張愛玲


有兩種強大的力量。時間的力量,世俗價值的力量。

康明遜安慰她說,無論何時何地,心裡總是有她的。王琦瑤便苦笑,她也不是個影子,裝在心裡就能活的。這話雖也是不痛快,卻不是負氣了,而是真難過。這就是他們始料不及的,本是想抓住眼前的快樂,不想這快樂是摻一半難過的。他們沒想到眼前的快樂其實是要以將來作抵押,將來又是要以過去來作抵,人生真是連成一串的鎖鍊,想獨取一環談何容易。

—《長恨歌》‧王安憶


我個人視這部片奇妙在此,想法不同的人會從中看到兩個相反的信念。

不相信自由意志的人,確定了人沒有自由意志,會被生活的現實和整個外在世界的價值觀所綁架。

相信自由意志的人,會找到人能行使或不能行使自由意志的理由。

假使我們把自由意志的存在比喻成神,那麼我們也可以把務實和外在價值的約束比喻成魔鬼。你相信有神就有神,你相信有魔鬼就有魔鬼,反之亦然。人若相信外在世界強大的集體意識能造成不可抵擋的禁錮力量,那麼它就存在。人若相信它的力量超越了神,它就超越,人若相信因此神不存在,祂確實也就不存在。

在《真愛旅程》的例子裡,我們可以把這象徵又推進一步,它在某個層面上指涉得更明晰,如果一個人害怕去面對一個他一點都不了解的神,他自己會先跑去跟魔鬼交易。

〈革命之路〉‧成英姝


有意思,像是佛洛姆的《逃避自由》

是的,沒有什麼是「非如此不可的」。包括,成為一個「特別」的人。

當法蘭克同意愛波的提議時,他接受到巴黎去由愛波工作來養他(這是顛覆傳統的家庭兩性角色價值),讓他全心自由地去尋找自己真正想做的事,去尋找自我實現的道路,然而當他害怕面對這件事的真實時,他退回傳統價值觀的世界,連帶的在他們自己這個原本對抗外在價值的國度的裡面,他也倒戈回到傳統價值觀上。


人們總在說,種種現實逼使他們放棄了夢想。……如果那是對你而言真正重要的事情,真正能實現你自己的夢想,你是會勇敢的,如果那不足以讓你干冒風險,丟掉庸碌的安穩,那就算不上是你的夢想。

我說每個人都是獨特的,因為每個人都是珍貴單獨的一個個體,都是他自己,但我沒說每個人都不平庸。平庸沒什麼不好,只是你就別老在那裡幻想自己其實不凡了。



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2009年2月9日 星期一

自動搖籃床。



這是做爹娘的吾輩夢寐以求的恩物啊!(當然我已經用不到了,sigh)

Suima crib 是日本九州大學所設計的自動搖籃床,用來哄小嬰兒入睡。

自動搖籃床模擬父母親哄小寶貝睡覺的手臂懷抱感,每 1.8 秒可從一邊搖到另一邊。底部有輪子,整個搖籃床可以前後搖動 10 公分,上有哭聲探測儀,只要寶寶啼哭就會啟動,即時讓小嬰兒享受到人工搖籃的舒適。

自動搖籃床只在日本上市,月租金 100 美元,賣價 4500~5000 美元。


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太陽讓你愉快起床。


起床是痛苦的,特別是沒辦法睡到自然醒的時候。

所以,如果非得用鬧鐘,是不是……,可以有人性化一點的叫醒功能?

之前在電視上看過一個日本節目,提及一個針對縮短睡眠時間的研究:如果一個人睡眠週期是九個小時,在睡到第七個小時的時候開始光照,這個人在第八個小時就會醒來。這表示「日上三竿」真的有助於「自然醒」。

這款鬧鐘就是依照這個原理,在設定時間的前半個小時開始逐漸增加光照,然後開始播放自然音效(有三種可以選)。這個「鬧鐘」還可以聽廣播、當床頭燈看書用,。



PHILIPS UK Site
AMAZON UK

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